ChicCritique

Yesterday, it was HOT outside.

Like, taking a morning trip to Target to bask in the air conditioning while our central air got running, HOT.

Like, two trips to the backyard swimming pool because I refused to force the boys to ride in their wagon to the wading pool a whole four blocks away, HOT.

So after our second swim, with H and J in just their diapers and me in my suit and towel, we had our afternoon snack of homemade popsicles (coconut milk/banana/pineapple) on our front porch.

And I thought about how completely lucky and in love I am with my sons and overall, with my life. How awesome that as our routine together this summer is developing, swimsuit/diaper-popsicle-snack-on-the-porch time is penciled in for our little threesome?

When things get rougher than usual, when there’s a week that’s filled more with crying, fighting, biting, whining, pushing, and overall crabbiness, I’m pretty quick to gripe about my unintentional SAHM status. I graduated a year early from a great college! I had a terrific career! And then I had a potential-tastic second career!

But my former employer has contacted me again with a heads-up for a likely job offer in September-ish, and I know I won’t go back to work full time until the boys are in kindergarten (unless the offer is CRAY, but even then, still maybe not).

I told P about our day, and dissolved into mini-tears of happiness and bigger tears at the thought of returning to work and how broken my heart would/will be.

Today, my husband came home from work with a gift (or two) for me. Another promotion, and a longterm conversation about my sentence/privilege as mom.

Things are far from perfect, but I know I’m lucky-lucky-lucky to be spending so much of my time with so much almost-perfection.